Aaaaanxious anxious anxious. The concert is today and I feel vastly unprepared. I began a post yesterday that I never finished for lack of energy and a little bit of discouragement. Yesterday was the dress rehearsals, which invariably go badly so I shouldn't be particularly torn up about that, but we were supposed to use this dress rehearsal to make my audition tape to send in with my applications. It was a nightmare: they couldn't get through the piece fully, mistake after mistake after mistake, and not unnoticeable ones either. This is a piece they've had from memory since October, and I finally had them use their music which, amazingly, didn't help at all! It's not like I just didn't get a decent take, I didn't get a single full take. Andy's since told me we'll have a chance to tape again at the concert tonight but I'm feeling pretty discouraged and not very hopeful. That, followed by a BCC rehearsal at Villa Victoria in which Zoey, a usually disruptive girl, was unusually so, and I asked her to leave for the rest of class and she burst into tears. Just rough to watch. Ugh.
I feel uninspired by anything but this increasingly cold weather. Rain all over the brilliantly colored leaves everywhere. It's all peaking towards Thanksgiving, and I'll be so grateful for its coming. I feel so at sea and I'm sure I'll continue to afterwards, but at least for that week I'll be solid.
I need to figure out my Christmas vacation plans...I sing the Handel Motets at the church on Dec 16th and I don't have to be back until January 16th for classes but I need to see about the BCC and the restaurant for the days between. It'd be nice if I could do some traveling...have an actual vacation.
Alright, time for a little breakfast and some music review before the potential train wreck that is tonight. Disaster or not, I still wish I was gonna have some family there. Damn, what do I need to get out of this mood? A gym visit perhaps? Bench-press a buick?
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