and the band played Waltzing Matilda as the ship pulled away from the key

Biiiiig sigh

I've just sent off an email to Leslie Geffen, the director of my Elementary School (Mirman), asking her, in a round-about way, for a job. Or if she knows of one. Or if she knows of anyone else who knows of anyone willing to pay someone else for doing something (anything) vaguely related to music. These applications (and yes, there are only two) are seemingly increasingly out of my control, but I took some steps towards them tonight. I confirmed that Andy was writing me a recommendation, I asked my advisor John McDonald for a rec as well, I organized what I need to do (other than re-write my mass analysis) in order to send them both in... small steps, but steps none the less. I'm going to continue as though I were expecting to get these missing files recovered, and as though I'll have a full application to send in. Dad and I talked earlier tonight and I admitted exactly how hesitant I was to apply, not just because I'm missing the necessary files to do so, but also because I feel extremely inexperienced. I don't know that this is the program for me. I know that I love the conducting, that when I'm up there I feel indestructible, joyful and proud, but it doesn't hit me the same way the singing does. With my voice I feel far more capable, but I can't speak to whether or not that's just a matter of experience and cultivating the proper techniques or not. I'm going to finish these applications, get them sent off, and I'm not gonna talk about them with anybody. Okay Dad? (I love you).

In other news, my new Mac is up and running, she hasn't been named yet, and she's currently playing Makem and Clancy - Waltzing Matilda (which you can probably tell by the title post. By the way, I should clarify that my titles to each post are lyrics of whatever piece I'm listening to as I write, nothin' fancy). All my pictures are also on my old computer, but I was lucky enough to dig through my email and find this one:



So that's my desktop of this new computer. That's my house, my kitchen, my bananas. I love that counter top. It's the place mum made me a gingerbread girl, literally, where Mum made Wheatena with peanuts for us when I was little, and I love that Annie always has some fruit in a bowl for us. And flowers. *smile* Big hug, Annie. I can't wait be go home for Christmas. I could happily spend the whole vacation sitting on the bench in the hallway that faces the living room, watching us all go about the day. Hm. I dislike the thought of going home because it means I'll inevitably have to come back to this third floor room in Medford that feels so completely detached from the rest of the world, even the house below it. Like I'm in some treeless treehouse, orbiting the rest of the planet.