Mailing off my W-2 forms to Renee, and feeling like a big girl. For the first day in eons. Today I talked to Clint, I talked to Emma, I talked to Mum, I left messages with Terri, I prayed constantly. I prayed for the willingness to let go of all the control I was imagining I could have over everything around me. And then prayed for the panic that arose immediately at the thought of relinquishing that control to be lifted, or at least eased. I prayed for the willingness to be honest. Which came. It all came.
I've found a 7am meeting tomorrow, it's AA and it's big book but I'm going to go anyway. I hope that's alright. I'll go into work lunch from there (likely spending the time in between reading at Starbucks).
Today I ate one whole butterscotch pudding, many little mint chocolates, some eggs, breakfast breads, bites of salad, bits of all things pastry, an onion ring, a lady finger...no actual real meal. I'm not taking care of my food. I had plenty of calories I'm sure, but no nutrients to speak of. I'll have an actual breakfast tomorrow before the meeting. Which means I should pretty much just get up now.
Just remembered I'm supposed to conduct a Tufts rehearsal tomorrow and I haven't looked at the music. Tomorrow's a busier day than I'd expected...I'm looking forward to this weekend in New York. I really, really need the break. Really.
I have no inspiring observations about the day, no quirky things to mention, just relief and exhaustion and hope.
Oh wait I do have one funny thing- the printers went down at work tonight, the ones in the kitchen that print the orders we ring in, and so we had to do it all manually. It was rather slow, so Tony instituted a rule that he would ignore all tickets that weren't illustrated. It became pictionary on the ticket. When a woman requested the pork chop with no potatoes and extra broccoli raab, I drew a very unhappy piggy with an ax above it's head, next to it a potato (that was a lumpy mass upon which I drew tiny eyes) with an X through it. Next to the potato was a plus sign, and then I drew a piece of broccoli and one of those old-timey thieves with a black eye mask sneaking away with a "loot" bag with a big dollar sign on it...then I wrote "verb" under his picture, indicating that it was not "Robber" that I was looking for, but "Rob". So. I got my pork chop, no potatoes, extra broccoli raab. I love that I can leave my crap at the door when I come to work.
Oh! This is big news- they asked me to sing at Upstairs! Like a night of me and a piano and a mic! I get to pick the night and they'll advertise and everything! I'm terrified. And thrilled. And the restaurant owners are gonna set me up with an accompanist- a guy who plays jazz there some nights - everything! I'm hoping I'm courageous enough to follow up, this is right there on the table for me. I'm wickedly excited.
Okay, just talked to Terri, to bed I go. It's been a very, very long day.
(by the way, Blogger's spell check is down, so now it's officially revealed how truly hopeless I am with spelling. Feel free to point and laugh.)
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