Amadeus Amadeus

I've been sitting in Starbucks with Kate for the last 3 hours (yummy white chocolate mocha) during which time I've attempted my Symmetry homework which I've since abandoned after two problems because I definitely need to go into the review section before I can go any further (it's also possible that she has yet to cover the material the question asks and will do so at Friday's class, but the fact that I can't discern whether she's covered this stuff or not probably speaks volumes as to how above water my head is. The vocabulary the question is using is familiar, but there are unfamiliar variables and references to figures and diagrams I haven't learned to read yet. All this is only exacerbated by the fact that the directions to each of these isometries (translation, rotation, reflection, and glide reflection) are represented with greek symbols (Tau, Rho, Mu, and Gamma respectively) so on the page what's being asked of me (or even the way that I'm answering) doesn't translate immediately. It's like having to answer a trig question that's being posed to you in Gaelic and having to translate it so you can answer it, and then translate your answer back into Gaelic. My potential for error is tremendous when I'm working in English. This is leaving me flailing a little bit.
After giving up on the homework I've been poking around looking for jobs, teaching jobs mostly, but the kind of jobs where I wouldn't be responsible for a lesson plan or a group right off the bat. I emailed a bunch of private schools with the same warm, bold, yet appropriately humble email introducing myself and explaining my credentials (or those I'll have in June), explaining what I'm looking for, and then signing off that I'd be happy to send along a resume "if you feel there might be a place for me in the [name of school] family." I thought playing into the communityness thing might make me more appealing. Or something.

Alright, I'm going to a yoga class now, tonight I think the plan is to watch Singing in the Rain at Kate's, and then I'm home early to do laundry for work tomorrow so I'll look presentable for the lunch shift. Although nothing I wear is ever ironed. Or starched.

One nice thing: after avowing at that monday night meeting that I was lonely, and a little isolating, I got three phone calls yesterday from people just calling to say hi. Two of whom ended up really needing to talk to somebody, and I think I had things to say that were helpful. I forget that I have experiences that are applicable, with food, with early recovery relationships, with shame. I have great words of wisdom sometimes, and I fully intend to act upon them myself, slowly by slowly.
Still in the 7th step prayer, kind of wishing I were 10 years old and sitting on the balcony at dads house wrapped in blankets eating cereal and watching the morning glories and the people walking dogs and the sun come up. Pretty safe place to be. Guess the prayer is too.